Alexander was released from the hospital yesterday morning. Although he still has to recover we are just glad to have him home and he definitely looks so happy to be home again.

I can’t even describe how I feel in the last few days, I still feel physically and mentally exhausted. Even though we’ve been warned that his illness may reoccur it still doesn’t make it any easier to see your child in pain. Maybe only mothers will understand this, the helplessness that wraps you tight when there is not one kiss that will make the pain and boo boo go away, when you could only cry silently holding your inconsolable baby.

Traumatized from the first night he was admitted through ER, I asked my husband to stay with him on Wednesday night. It’s so hard to go home without him and see the house still looks a mess with all his toys scattered every where and I only managed to get 2 hours of sleep but I just can’t bear to stay there again in the hospital room especially not the first night. That first night there (when he was there on Feb 26) he was totally inconsolable and cried all night long, it just shred my heart to pieces because nothing could calm him down. Even the nurse kept saying “I’m so sorry…if there’s anything I could do?”

Surprisingly, his Daddy said he actually slept better that night and it wasn’t as bad as before but who knows maybe he said that not to worry me. So I stayed there the second night and since he’s been improving (oxygen saturation wise) during the day, they said they’ll decrease the amount of breathing treatment from once every 2 hours (at first) to every 4 hours then to every 6 hours and they had turned off the oxygen tent (which did wonders to the ears as that machine is super LOUD). Unfortunately, when he was sleeping his oxygen saturation level dropped again which keeps the machine beeping all the time. You see, you can’t really rely on these machine because when Alex moves his legs too much (they had to clip it to his toe) or if he stands up it will messes up the reading, however, when he’s laying there sleeping it should be working fine. He also started to cough again which is not good at all! The nurse rushed in to check on him and she too had that worried look about the oxygen saturation level reading so she called the respiratory department. A respiratory nurse came and brings another vial of albuterol to start breathing treatment immediately and she said they have to put the oxygen tent back on. It was a scary moment!

All throughout Friday he’s been in and out of the oxygen tent because his oxygen saturation level was still not on the acceptable range but he’s definitely feeling better and it was a STRUGGLE to keep your 15 months old stays in bed all day long when all they want to do is walk around and play. So we took him out of the room after they stop the IV (but still keep the IV tube on him for his anti-inflammatory shots) and put him in the little wagon and pull him all around the pediatric floor. He was happy until we took him back to the room.

I just pray that his bronchiolitis will get better now that we will have the nebulizer machine at home. It’ll be quite a journey to conquer this thing and I wish spring will get here soon because the weird weather lately had somehow contribute to the reoccurring too.

Thank you so very much for all your thoughts, prayers and messages to wish him well. I can’t thank you enough for your continuing support thru all of this. GBU all!